flying solo

I am so over people thinking breaking up with someone and being single is like a death wish. Like sure sometimes it sucks not having “your person” but why can’t “your person” be you. I am loving life being alone right now, finding joy in the quiet things like spending time with friends and watching the movies i want to watch and reading books and travelling.

Being single doesn’t sound so bad from where I’m standing.

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maybe it’s not fomo, it’s social media

Ugh. I am beginning to think social media platforms like snapchat and instagram stories in particular are evil. Because it shows at any given moment “live” what people are up to at that instant. If you’re able to see these things you’re also able to be like “oh this is what this person is up to at this very moment” and just that quick little video or photo or second makes it seem like okay you don’t need to know what else they’ve been up to.

We’ve become so reliant on social media and cyber stalking that it takes away from making the actual effort of having to get to know someone or talk to someone and genuinely meet up in person to catch up. I also think it can be a bit unhealthy when you’re perfectly content having a night to yourself and then you go looking at a friends snapchat and they are “seemingly” having more fun than you and you feel like there’s maybe something wrong with you. Why is it that they’re having more fun? Why can’t that be you? Without snapchat and instagram stories those feelings of FOMO (fear of missing out) is something you would have never experienced. It’s almost as if everyone is purposely rubbing your face in something, quite aggressively. Didn’t the hipster days of instagram seem simpler when it was just posting a photo and then captioning it and sharing it that way? Everything else just seems much extra.

I understand the need for sharing and wanting to share and post pictures but where is the balance here. I’m guilty of doing it myself sometimes but I’m more often on the other side….

Sometimes its nice to just not know what the hell everyone else is doing at every minute of every day and just enjoy yourself. Ignorance can be bliss. Let’s work on not taking the bait together. #confessionsofanintrovert

Hiatus

I know I’ve been really bad at this putting my thoughts into words often because I feel like my thoughts aren’t even worth sharing outside of my head but I’m going to get better. Because I think it’s always been therapeutic for me to come back a year or even a month from now to see my own growth. It’s also even nice if anyone is reading this that they might know exactly how I’m feeling or relate to it somehow.

So the first thing I wanna blog about is music related. I find that whenever I’m out in public places eg. the mall and I’m going in and out of different shops my immediate thought is to notice what song is playing. Today I was grocery shopping and one of my favorite songs at the moment came on and I noticed it instantly, and instantly my mood felt better, felt more excited, felt happier but it seemed like no-one else in the store in that moment even noticed a shift. Anyone else feel like that? That your the only one noticing the songs and the soundtracks throughout your life, that every song has a different feeling, emotion, or memory attached to it? That’s why I think sometimes I am hesitant and a bit selfish with sharing music because it’s like sharing a secret or something personal.

a dark day

Does anyone have a “dark day” maybe it’s linked to something that happened in the past that previous day. Like a death anniversary, or an anniversary but now you’re no longer with that person. Just lots of bad memories or good ones that are now gone.

You feel the need to shut yourself off and just get away from it all, take a day off physically and mentally.

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. It’s okay to have an off day or a dark day. You don’t owe anyone any explanations and whatever you feel is valid.

Today is the 2 year death anniversary of my aunt who passed away suddenly. She was healthy as a horse and she had a stroke and now she’s gone. Today I remember her, but i also want to remember how fleeting life can be.