Hiatus

I know I’ve been really bad at this putting my thoughts into words often because I feel like my thoughts aren’t even worth sharing outside of my head but I’m going to get better. Because I think it’s always been therapeutic for me to come back a year or even a month from now to see my own growth. It’s also even nice if anyone is reading this that they might know exactly how I’m feeling or relate to it somehow.

So the first thing I wanna blog about is music related. I find that whenever I’m out in public places eg. the mall and I’m going in and out of different shops my immediate thought is to notice what song is playing. Today I was grocery shopping and one of my favorite songs at the moment came on and I noticed it instantly, and instantly my mood felt better, felt more excited, felt happier but it seemed like no-one else in the store in that moment even noticed a shift. Anyone else feel like that? That your the only one noticing the songs and the soundtracks throughout your life, that every song has a different feeling, emotion, or memory attached to it? That’s why I think sometimes I am hesitant and a bit selfish with sharing music because it’s like sharing a secret or something personal.

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Guarded

Does anyone ever feel like they don’t want to share something with someone because it’s so personal and they associate it like a memory or song or movie with someone else or they just want to keep it to themselves. It’s like having their own little secret.

I don’t know if that makes any sense so I’ll give you an example. When someone new in my life asks me about what my favorite movie is or what my favorite song is I am hesitant to tell them because they’ll want to hear it or watch it and it’ll change the way you feel about it if you talk about it with them. Or they don’t understand it or feel the same way about it as you do. You’re happy or sentimental about the way it makes you feel and you like the way it reminds you of a certain part or time in your life.

I feel like people who are guarded feel like this about all sorts of things, certain phrases, words, books, movies, songs. Something might mean something completely different to you than to them and you don’t want them ruining it. So here’s my reminder to you, and to myself that it’s okay to be a little selfish you don’t necessarily have to share everything with everyone.